My Buddy is a Cage

My buddy is a Cage
That keeps me from dancing with the one I love
But my mind holds the key
Oh god not the key
It’s in my eyes
My eyes AGHHHHHH
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The Frozen Ground
Nicolas Cage The Frozen Ground 2
August 25, 2013
Alaskan serial murderer Robert Hansen has claimed yet another victim: my interest in this movie.
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Seeking Justice
Nic Cage Seeking Justice
June 18, 2013
If you thought Seeking Justice wouldn’t end with a Superdome monster truck rally, you haven’t been paying attention.
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Trespass
Trespass Nicolas Cage
April 27, 2013
Trespass is inarguably successful in one category: making its way from theaters to home video in the fastest time ever.
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World Trade Center
World Trade Center Nicolas Cage 2
April 11, 2013
Oliver Stone takes a tragic, historic  event in America and makes it feel a little less of both.
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Wild at Heart
NIcolas Cage pointing Wild at Heart
March 9, 2013
This whole world’s wild at heart and weird all over the damn place.
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Stolen
February 24, 2013
For future reference, nobody does Liam better than Liam.
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The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
February 17, 2013
My sincerest apologies, Mr. Dukas. My sincerest apologies.
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Vampire’s Kiss
February 11, 2013
A third of Vampire’s Kiss can be watched through YouTube clips alone, but to assume this is a black comedy makes an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and meme.
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Deadfall
January 13, 2013
Christopher Coppola’s riff on film noir enters “so bad it’s good” territory before drizzling back to terrible.
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Werewolf Women of the SS
January 2, 2013
Why couldn’t Twentieth Century Fox have greenlit this instead of Machete?
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The Family Man
December 21, 2012
Because with a magical black man, you really can have it all.
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Christmas Carol: The Movie
Nicolas Cage
December 13, 2012
Expect the first ghost when the bell tolls one! Just don’t anticipate anything beyond that.
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Knowing
Nicolas Cage
December 12, 2012
Take me away from this, Mr. Alien. Take me far far away in your glass-feathered whiffle ball of wonders.
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Lord of War
Screen shot 2012-12-01 at 6.40.26 PM
December 2, 2012
Thank You for Shooting.
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Con Air
November 25, 2012
Put… the Die Hard rip-off… back in the box…
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Astro Boy
November 22, 2012
For this one, maybe press “Mute” and throw on some Rob Dougan?
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Drive Angry
November 11, 2012
Of course Nic Cage drinks third-tier beer from a man’s bloody skull. Of course.
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National Treasure: Book of Secrets
October 30, 2012
Book of stupid.
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National Treasure
October 27, 2012
Disney’s action-adventure has all the devious engineering of a Nazi poster boy. So why don’t I hate it?
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Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
October 6, 2012
This is delicious junk food in as much as a flaming Snickers bar can be considered delicious. Or edible.
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Ghost Rider
October 2, 2012
Cage’s tragic quest to play a comic book character reaches its meta apex.
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Next
September 13, 2012
96 minutes of bird-haired Cage. I can see 90 of them before they even happen.
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The Rock
August 30, 2012
If the thought of James Bond fan fiction doesn’t excite you, we’re going to have problems.
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Leaving Las Vegas
August 20, 2012
Cage needs some psychiatric help. And a really, really long nap.
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Gone in Sixty Seconds
 
August 10, 2012
A suspension of disinterest, and one that does not succeed.
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Kick-Ass
 
August 1, 2012
Volcanic blood splatter and needless curses make for one motherfucking solid departure from the conventional superhero genre.
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Matchstick Men
 
July 23, 2012
Ridley Scott’s heist flick requires that Cage come unraveled.
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Red Rock West
July 15, 2012
A slick, brooding Western neo-noir. That’s its own thing now.
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The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call – New Orleans
 
July 8, 2012
To claim Herzog was in the midst of a cocaine binge here would be an insult to cocaine, and maybe a suggestion of a coherent alternative.
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The Weather Man
July 1, 2012
Gore Verbinski’s noble, flawed dramatic effort with some fast food philosophy.
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Bangkok Dangerous
June 24, 2012
Situates itself squarely in the prime of Cage’s I’ll Take Anything phase. Also, his receding hairline phase.
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Face/Off
June 23, 2012
A frantic exploration of how psychotic a premise can truly get.
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Adaptation.
June 9, 2012
My genre’s overly-complicated-meta-narrative. What’s yours?
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Season of the Witch
June 2, 2012
Since when does a season last this long?
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Raising Arizona
May 26, 2012
Seeds of the Coens’ dark comedy take root in Cage’s career, and other hackneyed analogies.

One response to “My Buddy is a Cage

  1. Pingback: My Buddy is a Cage — The Frozen Ground (2013) | Majestic Wolf Blog

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